''Life is full of suprises.''

I'm not the type of kind people. I'm not the type of will-listen-all-what-people-says-person. I'm not the type of easy-befriend-with-others-person. I am a weird person. I will rebelled in silence. I put my ego too high. Then , it killing me , slowly. I am. The real me are boring and weird. People will judge me wrong. I'm just an ordinary person. I will cry and smile just two in one. I have a big family. Family that love me , too much. I'm an attention seeker. I love to get their attention to let them know my existence. 

People will think I have everything. I have a luxury from my parents but I'm not the type of use their luxury for my own . I will get everything. But doesnt mean I'm happy. I'm a weak girl . A girl that always get down easily. I hate a broken heart feeling, no-one-trust-me feeling. I trust someone easily , thats my weakness one. I'm the type of afraid-of-losing-person. Even you are just my friends. I will love , trust and treat you like my family even you are my friends. I will cry for you if you leave me. My heart is fragile. I will cry easily and think I'm not good enough if I cant satisfy what they want me to do.

Even you have your own book , you will get jealous with other books. Their story line. Their perfect life. Losing, crying for the beginning and happy for the ending. No heart broken. Happy ending. I dont like if thats so called ''mine'' but others trying to get it. If you are mine , always mine. No one can take you from me. I trust ths sentence ''To other people eyes you have nothing but in someone-loves-you-eyes , you are perfect.'' I will not give up easily but when I do, I never turn back for what've broke me.

I wish one day I will be a strong girl. Not cry easily. I will fight even it is a small things. I just scared people will hate me if I says something just want to shows the truth. They hurt , they will hate me then. I dont care if I get hurt but not them. Thats why I keep silence. Just look around.  Screaming inside. Hurting inside. Crying inside. I dont care . As long as people around me happy. I'm okay.

So, can you trust me? Can you love me? Can you accept the weak me? Can you treat me like my own brothers always did? No heart broken? I think , no one can do.